Friday, April 8, 2011
Life Is Hard
Living the way I feel I should, involves tremendous amounts of selfless giving.
Tonight I feel like I gave my all today and I have nothing left.
I started the day at 6am fasting for some routine blood work and a liver ultra sound... by 8:30am I had completed those tasks and was on-duty at work... drinking instant oatmeal as I juggled multiple issues.
As the day unfolded... human need exploded all over the Emergency Department.
I worked diligently to meet the biopsychosocial needs of my patients and was fairly successful by days end.
I like making a positive difference... it is the gas that keeps my engine running.
There was a time,not so long ago when I was out of work for about a year...
My health presented similar challenges then as it does today... only without the reward of making a positive difference in the lives of others on a daily basis... I became unsure why I existed...without purpose...
Physical endurance and pain continue to challenge me in my desire to maintain a half-time professional career... but I am determined to push through as long as I can.
As a nurse I have the opportunity to see human situations that give me perspective on life...
I am truly blessed in so many ways... so very many people have much, much worse conditions... I remind myself to be grateful when self pity or other unhelpful feelings consume my thoughts.