Wednesday, August 31, 2011

He Laughed

Having been on a "Medical Leave of Absence" from work for several weeks now, my husband asks..."what will you do if you aren't ever able to return to work"? I responded, "I will apply for permanent Social Security Disability and Medicare Supplement to help with our finances". As for life in general... "on my 'good' days I will finish my book, edit it and work on publishing it... then I will put together my next book on 'International Adoption & Trying to Heal RAD'... that is of course in addition to all of my domestic wife and motherly responsibilities". He responded with laughter... I was hurt and confused. "How should I interpret your laughter" I asked. "Are you mocking me... telling me you think of my aspiration as a joke... or maybe that you believe I lack the talent for the job".

His rationale for laughter:
"I believe that you have the capacity to write, and write well. I have known many people who aspire to write a book... I have known no one who has completed the job and become famous". "How are you different"?

How am I different?
I have no aspiration to "become famous" or make tons of money. My motivation is a drive to share information about what it is like to be a Registered Nurse who lives with a rare genetically inherited disease, Acute Intermittent Porphyria (AIP). My audience is most likely limited to people who have the disease, people who have loved ones with the disease and medical personnel who want more information about AIP. The obvious lack of support shown by my spouse this day served to "fuel my fire" even more to "make this book happen".

As my pre-set time frame of one year (9/17/2010 - 9/17/2011) is quickly ticking to an end, I struggle to include all of the elements that I want and need to share. I am hoping that during my "editing phase" (post completion date) I can identify the pieces I have neglected and modify the final product to include a comprehensive presentation of real-life information.

It has been even more difficult to write lately, as my disease has been very active and I struggle to, "think straight". Writing in small segments, when my environment is well controlled is ideal yet rare to come by.

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